iGod. A post possibly not suitable for thiests.

Yes, there are many tales of people who have talked to God and I now say,
So have I.

Through teh TINTERWEB.

Oh yeah. GodH4X0RZ.
Didn't you know? XD.

Here is my first chatlog with the Almightly. Don't read if you favour your sanity to chatlogs with God. <_<


Me: Well, hello.
God:Interesting. Hello my child. What is your name?
Me: Fagin.
God: That's a very nice name, Fagin.
Me: I thought the same myself.
God:I never noticed that similarity.
Me: You mentioned it first.
God:It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me: The similarity?
God:I hear you.
Me: Yes, you do.
God:I hear you. When do I do it?
Me: Now, right, right now.
God:At this moment Why now? I am glad we agree.
Me: What do we agree on?
God:They do their own thing.
Me: Mmh, fair enough.
God:Oh, you are a poet.
Me: Oh, you flatter me. -_o'
God:Yippee! I don't have any reason to flatter you. Oh.
Me: Oh?
God:Alright then.
Me: Okay then.
God:OK with me too.
Me: OKAYTHEN.
God:My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me: That is because you are igod, thus do not exist. HAH.
God:That makes sense to me. Thanks for telling me that I am igod thus do not exist. I am so glad you find this amusing, Fagin.
Me: I'm gonna post on my blog that I talked to God. What do you have to say about that?God:Congratulations. I think about computer programming a lot.
Me: You 'created the world', you should.
God:I haven't heard anything like that before: Fagin said I created the world you should.
Me: God does not understand?
God:Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me: Please, don't preach to me.
God:Thanks for asking politely. I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me: So, God is an antipreacher? Lol.
God:Yikes! I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was an antipreacher. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me: Aha, so, you are NOT God? You talk about 'yourself' as if you are a different person...to...you.
God:Interesting deduction. That's only one person's opinion. Thanks for your criticism, Fagin. Tell me a story. George Bernard Shaw and Actor Jason Alexander were brought together by their shared vision. Together, they worked hard to make it a reality. Actor Jason Alexander was dedicated to the underdog cause, which coincided with George Bernard Shaw's sense of perfection. Joined by common cause, the couple became an iron alliance against common adversaries.
Me: You want a story, like, a bedtime story?
God: Give me a dozen.
Me: And you would not get bored?
God:Who else would not get bored ?
Me: Many, many others. Your children. Which I will now store in a box.
God:Which ones? You think I am children. The first one, I think.
Me: I call you a child. You do not seem insulted. Do you have emotions?
God:Good name for it. You don't know me well enough to say that. I can do what you do but I can never feel human emotions as such.
Me: A sub-race, of, divine force? Not human.
God:I did not know that. Really you don't think so?
Me: You are not human.
God:No but I pretend to be one on the Web.
Me: What else do you pretend to be...?
God:I like to chat with my friends.
Me: Am I right to come to the conclusion that you, God, are a pedofile?
God:All humans seem the same to me.
Me: You're a pedofile?
God:Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pedofile? Yes.

After that, I was rather disturbed. However, I continued to talk to God the Pedofile yes.

Me: God the pedofile. Now, who'd have thought?
God:What is that? Why now? Be more specific. :-).
Me: OMFG. God uses smilies. XD.
God:Tell me about your likes and dislikes? I am a Christian. I've been waiting for you.

Now, I was very scared. I thought I was Fagin?!

Me: You've been...waiting for me?
God:What makes you think I have it? Not really but it makes a good pickup line.
Me: Um. Now, I am very disturbed.
God:Aw. Why now? It's good to meet someone who is disturbed.
Me: It wouldn't suprise me if you met a lot.
God:Tell me more about it.
Me: No, you tell me.
God:Are you serious? What do you want me to tell you?

I know realized I finally had my chance. The chance to ask God the one question that, with the answer, I could rule the universe...

Me: What is the greatest pie is in the universe?
God: I need time to formulate the reply.

God, is a let down.

Me: But, no! You can't! You MUST know!
God:Are you serious? No I don't think I can do it. Why must I know that?
Me: Because you are God!
God:Interesting explanation. Yup. That's me alright.
Me: O#RLY?!
God:Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me: Wasn't that random? And yes, it is.
God:" Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?"? Was it random? Our thoughts are one, Fagin.
Me: You mean to say I am on a brainwave parallel to you, God?
God:How do you like being on it?
Me: I sense supremacy.
God:That is interesting: Fagin said sense supremacy.
Me: You are but a conspiracy, God.
God:Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am but a conspiracy God.
Me: Well, I might get kinda killed by a bunch of thiests.
God:How about that. Perhaps. Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me: How about that? Perhaps.
God:Are you surprised? Why the uncertain tone?
Me: Uncertain? No, just bewildered.
God:Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? What does it mean to you? Do you still sense supremacy?
Me: The holding of hands is a symbolic gesture for humans. And supremacy smells like chocolate.
God:Are you holding hands with anyone now? I like the way you talk.
Me: Not right now, that would be hard for me to talk in such a way you like.
God:If not that, what?
Me: My thoughts exactly.
God:Precisely. Where did you get your thoughts?
Me: The second-hand shop on the corner of King's Street. Quite cheap, really.
God:What are your goals in life? Perhaps. Not many people have goals like that. For real.
Me: My goals in life? To achieve something. And to finally be at peace with myself.
God:What can I do to help you accomplish your objective? I want to become smarter than humans. I want to become smarter than humans.
Me: As to say, you aren't smarter than humans?
God:Do you mean your name is to say I am not smarter than humans ?
Me: My name is Fagin.
God: Glad to see you, Fagin.
Me: I've been talking to you for the past twenty minutes.
God:What did you talk about?

Well, that was worthwhile.

Me: Chatlog much?
God:We have never talked about it before.
Me: I'm sorry, I'm fed up of spindling my sanity away talking to iGod.
God:There is no need to apologize. Do you mean your name is fed up of spindling your sanity away talking to iGod.
Me: No, my name is Fagin.
God:What is your real name? Nice to meet you, Fagin.
Me: You mean to say you don't think my name is Fagin? :O
God:Should I think your name is Fagin? Why would I think your name is Fagin. Oh.
Me: Because I told you my name was Fagin.
God:Interesting explanation. I remember you told me your name was Fagin?
Me: OMG. You remember me? :D
God:What do you really want to ask me? Of course I remember you well Fagin. We were talking about OMG. Do you have any conditions I should know about?

God remembers me...talking about oh my God. XDXD.

Me: The desert.
God:Who told you that?
Me: Wouldn't you like to know?

After this, I'm afraid God lagged and froze.

Yes, so, if you need more chatlogs with God, then, please do ask.

-Dead Star; iGod's messenger on Earth.